She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Randomize
