He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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