I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
nutella sex= disaster
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
