I think scott just propositioned me for sex
my mouth tastes like poor choices
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
