she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
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