To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize