We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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