He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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