When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
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