if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
