You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
