Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
