I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
