dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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