So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
