I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
