Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
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