Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Randomize
