She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
