If i come over, it means nothing
I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
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