I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize