Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I pour the whiskey from now on
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Randomize
