So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
