You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I need moral support for this bender
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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