love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
