Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Randomize
