It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Randomize
