Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
My breasts were aching with rage.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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