I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
