the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
