Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
