Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Randomize
