Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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