if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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