forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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