bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Randomize
