Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize