hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
