OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Randomize
