I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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