Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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