i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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