Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Come back. Shots need mouths.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize