I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
