i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
