it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
