And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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