dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
