Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
