Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I just want nice things and good sex
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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