is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
