she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize