u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
