I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
this is an emotional support booty call
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize