The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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