So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
We got so high we made milksteak
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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