There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
