i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
